Successful people have several habits that help them forge healthy relationships and help them stay focused on their goal.
Instead of learning these habits after many corporate training programs, self-help classes or years of therapy, it is best to teach the kids right from the start, when they are little.
Kids who are able to think thing through and plan for their desired goals thrive. They don’t get overwhelmed, don’t suffer from temper tantrums or emotional melt downs as easily. Therefore, they enjoy life, make friendships easier than children who lack of these abilities. They will be able to focus on learning, resulting in better grades, and a more productive life. These skills are core skills needed throughout their lives. Employers pro-actively seek out employees who have these leadership qualities. These emotional intelligence skills affect the physiological development of the child. This is also why it is important to start them out early. The children will enjoy the lives they create.
Here are some ideas that will help them as kids, teens and grown-ups.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
While it is true that the little things make the world go round and enjoyable, being petty and getting hung up on tiny details causes unnecessary stress. This doesn’t help anyone. By letting go immediately when something is not important the child will save time, energy, and it will be free to stay focused on what is essential and important in life.
Stay away from toxic people.
Toxic children, angry children, back stabbers, kids that gossip, mean kids, messy kids, destructive kids invite stress. If it is an exception, of course you will want your child to be supportive. But, if it is the other child’s character or habit it is just no fun. Toxic people have an uncanny ability to chill the most fun situation. Encourage your children to choose their friends wisely.
Stay in the now.
Children naturally live in the presents and this is a quality that monks strive to achieve over a lifetime of study. Encourage your child to stay focused on what they are doing and what they can do now to bring about the future they crave, or to improve a situation from the past they don't want to repeat. Encourage them to live, do, and enjoy this moment. The past is gone and the future isn’t here yet.
Regularly talk with your children how they can achieve or could have achieved their desired outcome. Make it a habit to reflect on their day, how it went and what they could do next time to be more in charge of a situation and outcome. The sooner kids understand that they have the power to influence themselves, their friends, and their desired outcome, the sooner they will feel empowered. Choosing to feel like a victim of circumstance will cause them heaps of trouble and it is entirely unnecessary.
Forgiving is divine.
Regardless of what religion your family may, or may not believe in, forgiveness is the most self-serving of emotions. Forgiving doesn’t mean that you want your child to forget and pretend the hurt didn't happen. Forgiving isn’t meant to let the offender off the hook, or that your children will allow someone to repeatedly hurt their feelings, even physically bother them, bully them, or worse. Forgiving means that the child will choose to stop the chattering monkeys inside their own brain. Forgiveness means making sense of the situation, letting go, and moving on. Perhaps the other child had a bad day, or the other child comes from a troubled family, or, on the other hand the child is toxic and should be avoided altogether. Assess, learn, forgive and let go! Kids can learn this early in life when we choose to set a good example.
Avoid negative self-talk and instead practice positive self-talk
Blaming oneself for something that is entirely out of ones’ control causes lots misery for many people that is entirely avoidable. Children can start early to engage in positive and empowering self-talk. Encourage them to be realistic. Feeling sorry about something they had nothing to do with is a waste of energy. Instead searching for the positive aspect of each situation will help them see the world in a positive way. People who blame themselves for situations that are out of their control increase the negativity in their life, they start to feel sorry and they are reinforcing the negative and the feelings of helplessness. Instead positive self-talk improves the children’s imagination, their ability to search out new and innovative solutions to a situation and to take responsibility when they choose the “lesser of two unpleasant options.”
Children naturally live in the now. We can choose to support this state of mind, and teach them emotional self-management, emotional resiliency, and some wonderful life skills. They will thrive sooner in life with their parents loving support.